Canasta & Grandmother

It’s way too late to start a blog post, but this is how I roll. (That’s how the kids are talking these days, right?)  This pic of my sweet McBaby #3 brings back memories of my “Sitsiti” Arabic for maternal Great-Grandmother.  Something about the white headscarf she is wearing and the dark eyes.  It’s amazing how sweet memories can immediately open up Pandora’s box though.

Is it just me or does your heart almost immediately pang with longing for times gone by as soon as you revel in the memory?  A longing for things to be, well, different.  As they should be and were originally intended, I suppose.  Not confined by time.

One of the places I long to go very badly is my paternal Grandmother’s kitchen table.  I yearn to go back to that place almost daily.  As I raise my own children around the kitchen table, the memory stays very fresh, very vivid, and I have the best of memories about hers.

For starters, it was a drop-leaf table.  The perfect table for someone living on her own, but who could immediately and easily make room for us grandkids to come visit.  I long for that place because we spent so much time there in the afternoons.  “Kings on the Corner”, “Canasta”, and “Dominoes” were our favorite games - and oh how we played for hours and hours… or so it seemed as a small child.  There was no hurry.  The only other things on our agenda were playing piano, visiting the forestry, and baking bread. 

The more that I think of this place, the more romanticized it has become I’m sure.  I want to go there.  I want to be a kid.  I want to see my grandmother.  I want to have time to play cards for hours on end.  I want my brother to be little again and slide with me at the park. I want my sister to be the little baby that fit in the drawer/makeshift-crib out of my Grandmother’s dresser. I want my cousin to be thirteen and make up scavenger hunts and skits with me.  I want to smell fresh bread baking in the background and know that after I fill up on it, I will get to spend the night at her house.  I want a shiny penny to put on my dominoes.  I want a bite of her homemade jam.  I want her to ask me to practice my hymns on the piano – to play the instrument “just because” it’s a blessing to do it, hear it, sing it, be reminded of the Truth.  I want to see her closet full of homemade quilts.  I want to hear the sound of her well-taken-care-of-typewriter for which she made me use the correct fingering.  I want to nearly bust at suppressing laughter at the old man that always fell asleep at her church.  I want to sit on her white davenport.  I want to drink her sun tea.  I want to be introduced to “Anne of Green Gables” for the first time again and again in her living room.  I want to see her long skinny leather walking shoes that she wore with pantyhose even when we were just hanging out. I want to taste her taco salad.  I want to drink out of her red glasses.  I want to have a peppermint out of her never-ending-peppermint bowl.

But. I. can’t.  And my heart hurts when I think about it.  As much as I can dream of it, I can’t go back.  As much as I wish Marty McFly and Doc Brown would show up in my living room, it won’t happen.  Wahp. Wahp.  Depressing post, eh?

What brings me solace tonight before I put my head on the pillow though?  I looked up the meaning of the word “canasta” and it means basket (Spanish).  I immediately thought of Mary “treasuring these things in her heart” when she found out she was pregnant with the Christ child, and I saw that while I can’t go back, I can carry a basket forward with as many memories as I want.  It can hold whatever I’d like and memories make up my story. I treasure these things in my heart. They make me who I am.  That’s all I got.  No big word or spiritual epiphany, just a tisket, a tasket, a little memory basket… and a blog to share a bunch of things “outloud” (so to speak/write).  Good night.

My first blog GIVEAWAY!! New Post: God is having a dinner party...

My first GIVEAWAY!  I’m so excited! You’ll see the giveaway items and more details at the end of the post.  Random computer generator will pick the winner – one entry for SUBSCRIBING to this blog (see right column for signup), one for leaving a COMMENT, and one for sharing on FACEBOOK.  So, you can enter up to THREE times!

As long as I can remember, I’ve loved throwing parties. 

My parents’ door certainly was swingin’ with kids from youth group, New Year’s Eve parties, random ol’ friends dropping in, bonfires, and birthday “slumber” (a.k.a. staying up all night) parties of 20 kids or more (praise the Lord for my fun-loving parents... more on them and the adventures they took us on HERE) among other events.  Even as I write this, my own 5-year-old McBaby #1 is upstairs taping streamers to her walls and ribbons across her closet.  She plans a party nearly nightly for dinnertime.  Everyone has a gift awaiting as each person prepares to take a seat at the supper table and sees handmade bracelets or necklaces she’s crocheted, pictures she’s drawn, designs she’s beaded and glued, and love letters she’s written.  With surprising assertion good management skills, she makes her demands loving requests and tells everyone where to sit and when to talk.

(Above pic of McBaby #1... my kids are with me in the kitchen constantly... more on that HERE.)

In between my parents and my daughter, of course, there I am.  (Lovable, huggable, me… as Elmo would say, right??…) I don’t know that I could even begin to count the number of baby showers, baby sprinkles, bridal showers, bachelorette nights, birthday parties, half-birthday parties, Pampered Chef-Arbonne-Thirty-One parties, welcome-home parties, going-away parties, tea parties, parties because it’s snowing, parties because it’s sunny, parties because someone is getting baptized/sprinkled/Christened/dedicated, or just-because parties that I’ve hosted.  (I know somewhere around halfway through that list, many of you would say “just-because” parties kind of covered the titles I gave the rest.)  The apple does not fall far from the tree.

(Above pic from "The Giving Tree" themed baby shower.)

And, nine times out of ten, I like to do it the “right” way: get out the china (that’s what it’s for, after all), real napkins, ball jars full of lemonade and sweet tea, from-scratch-everything, etc.

(Above pic from "Hello Kitty"-themed bday party... or at least our vintage-inspired-non-boxed version of it.)

So, perhaps it’s natural that I have begun to think of worship leading in these terms.  Someone recently asked me what I feel the role of the worship leader is versus the role of the worshipper.  It suddenly dawned on me - a new perspective. It feels that my role is to help God host a dinner party.  It’s His house, it’s His guest list; I’m simply the hostess for the evening.  My role is to help create an environment where no one is confused about what fork to use or when to use it.  No one wonders if they’ve taken the right amount of food – they are ensured that the feast is plentiful and satisfying.  Everyone has someone to help refill his or her cup. No one questions if he's truly welcome, but is assured by his individual, customized invitation to the community - his rightful place.  This table is a place of freedom, of candor.  This is a place of safety and ease.  This is a place of rest and of renewal.  This is a place to both toast wine glasses and cry over beers.

It has been and continues to be my immense honor and joy to serve various places in this capacity; to cry around the table with folks - some of whom I've only met hours prior; to help encourage and be encouraged; to share about our bright spaces, dark places, and, even, blind spots; to remind that nothing is too small or too big to bring up in the conversations. 

Friends, cheers!

(Above from a baby shower... see post HERE)

(The above pic is from McBaby #1 & McBaby #2 joint "Tangled" bday party.  See post HERE.)

 (Above pic from an annual half-birthday celebration... I know, I know, I'm crazy... below pics from various other parties.)

Being that today is a post about worship leading and I am, in fact, a worship leader myself, I am going to make this first giveaway a bundle of all of my projects and a shirt. Not a huge surprise there, eh??  That’s 4 CDs, a live DVD, and a "Sarah t-shirt" bundle for you or as a gift for someone!  Thanks so much for reading/posting/sharing!

 (Ends Friday, May 3 @11:59 pm.)